"when all that's left is spearmint
when i'm left waiting for a mixtape that not delivered.
where you never delivered.
left by rubbing thighs and tight jeans;
wanting to be shown how to care for someone properly.
clutching on to the faces and "how are you"s so desperately to proove that i am the same.
being left with chipped nails and broken polish.
being told that i have grown or gotten thinner
will not make up for the time lost by that spinning dial.
when the feeling of home has migrated to my purse.
when it's led to packing a suitcase.
when it's all about creating a case.
my ears hurt. so burst the bubble.
toss me to the smoke and have me crawl.
because neither of us are enjoying this at all.
i want to bargain with you, sir.
trade this eye for an eye.
a heart for a heart.
a good for more good.
a cow for an ipod.
and not live from institution to payroll & fuck inbetween.
goodnight."
meet a piece of something i wrote in the heart of my depression way back when. how much i've changed. reading this over, remembering those days& changes just allows me to see what people have been noticing.
i think i can make it through the week.
i know i can.
with talks of dreams jobs, that might just help, too.
all i have to remember are days like these:
for old time's sake: let go of your heart.
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